I would love to know what the fuck’s going on but that’s obviously not gonna happen so fuck it. And as usual, all the bullshit possible happens at the same time…it’s that downward spiral again. Just in time…just like last year. I can’t even lie to myself; any moment of optimism is soon followed by depressed and jaded thoughts of what is honestly more of a reality than anything positive I can think of. It’s like Louis C.K. said in one of his stand-up bits, “That’s what optimistic means, you know. It means stupid. An optimist is somebody who goes, ‘Hey maybe something nice will happen.’ Why the fuck would anything nice ever happen? What are you, stupid?” I could go on but I’ll spare you the boring details and depressing rant. And so I stray back to just not giving a fuck. Things just don’t matter as much when you don’t care =D

Sigh…what is life, man…………